Please dont take him away

Oh bitch ,

please dont snatch him away . Yes , his mine (:

Do you how big is the different if he took him away ? It made a big scar on my heart . No just heart , but also in my brain . I can be crzy without him in my life .

His like the oxygen , the food and water which i need so much in my life .

You had love from you parents , but i didnt . He show me the reason of love , the clarity of love and the pureness of loves .

He's the reason why im still standing . I hope you understand young lady (:

with love , me .

I'm a fake

As time past ; I FEEL SOOOOOOOOO ; CHICKEN BACKSIDE -.-

I can die with my eye open . But why ? I still don't understand why . Isnt that enough ?

I just want you to love me ; but you always shouted at me .

You said im a slut ; you said im useless ; you said im a brain'dead ; you said im cheap ; NOW WHATELSE ? Let me say this ; I STILL HAVE A VALUE ! I still havee value .. yes i still haveee ..

I dont know who to talk to ; only by typing i can be express whatever been inside . I dont know whereelse to post ; so i just post here . My wonder world . Where everyone is reading ; everyone know my stories . Sorry ; i just can't take it .

I may be bad ; but i'm a mind thinker . You cant see that right ? Why ? You too buzy with all the motherfucking thing that the world given you . What am i to you ? A cute doll ? A soft toy ? Ohh yeah ; just remember ; YOUR BITCH . Right ? Isnt that what you said ? That so sweet of you (: I'M A FAKE ! READ THAT LINE AGAIN ! I'M A FAKE !

I fake my smile ! I fake my LIFE ! I fake my motherfucking heart ! I'm a fake . I wasn't being happy all along . I wasn't have an awesome life . I wasn't being cheerful behind those doors . I WASNT ! I'm sorry if i said ; i''m stressfree ; i'm sorry when i said my family is awesome - they given me full loads of loves hearts ; i'm sorry if i said i'm the cheerful person ever . I'm sorry to whom i lied to . Its just that ; i'm selfish . I'm jealous ; How can you people get such an loving family . I don't care if i were poor ; i can earn my own money . I don't care if i had to wear such a ridiculous looking shirt . I don't care if you feed me plain rice everyday . I DONT CARE ! I just want you to care about me ; love me ; kiss me goodnight and say that I'm your little awesome princess .

You given high hopes ; fat hopes - but now its ruin . I do it for you ; yes for you . But you didnt seem to care . My expectations had been an destroy intentions . And i'm slowly being lost again .. I thought i found my light ; but i started to realise ; that wasn't the light ..

- Dia tidak memahami aku .

How am i suppose to live

You hurt me once more time . There you go again . You letting your hands go . I was hoping for your help ; bringing back to where i belong . But you said " No . Go and settle it yourself ." You broke my hope . But why ? I sometimes wonder ; to who am i suppose to tell this . Tell how hurt i am . How disappointed i am . I had been thriving to stop dropping tears and accept the fact ; but the truth ; i can't . I am losing ..
That is how you treated me ; OH Ya Allah ! My heart breaks . I wonder where i came from . Why cant i accept the facts ? I cry like one idiot .

HOW AM SUPPOSE TO PUT THIS AWAY ?! You let me drown ; and now you dont help me . Where were you when i need you the most ? You came once ; and now you gone . You making me crazy ....................

pjdfop weu`2b9 340fw34u tu90f vguit4j6oph5itk2h[5jy h!~

FAGGOTS ! GO AND DIE !

I would just want to say ..

Dear Mama ;

Firstly , i thought you the best ever . But the fact is ; you abandoned me in hell . I may not know what is the reason , but why didnt you answer me when i ask you ? Mama , although there is thousand hatred words lies in my heart and every single word i said ; i truely love you . I cant deny it . I used to say i hate you , but its not true . Till now ; i didnt get the reason why , i love you although you let go off me . And leave me in the dark . With full of flies and spiders .

I had been waiting for your calls to say HAPPYBIRTHDAY to me ; but you didnt . You dont even give me any present . But that doesnt matter ; the thing is ; you didnt say what i wanna hearon my special day . Mama ; do you know how dissapointed am i ? How sad am i ? And how i wish ; you would hug me and kiss me on my cheek ?

I treasure every moment with you ; but WHY , you didnt do the same towards me ? Mama ; to me , you're the best mom i never had , but why you did the other way round ? And always put the blame on me ? Am i your baddest kid ? I just dont get it . No matter what mama ; you still the woman i respect and i hope you'll realise my existence one day .

With Love ;

Your Beautiful Daughter .

I'm fuckup

Seriously ; i cant take it anymore . what am i towards them ? What am i ? A puppet ? Ohgod . Im so angry ; i dunnoe what am i thinking . I gone insane ! What ?! im insane ? Yes i am . Im insane . I cant stand this anymore . I SWEAR I CANT ! How can i live with such hypocrites ??

Im extremely boiling ~ Im losing my mind ~ I cant thinkkkkkkkkkkkk . Honestly ; I FUCKING HATE MY LIFEE ! Saay what ?! I fucking hate ittttt ! im insanee ! BECAUSE OF YOUUU !

GUI;LQGUIO;HIO;QWEFR

How i wish i would rewind ..

How i wish i would rewind ; and fuck them before they fuck me like now . They gave a lot of shits ; How can i please you while i SUFFER ; maniacs ! I'm confuse ; which path should i go . I dont know whether i'm happy or not . Its bullshits ! Its a crap ! I dunnoe what i'm thinking . I dont know who to trust . i"m lost ~

Let me make this clear ; I CAN LIVE WITHOUT FAMILY IS ON MY SIDE ! If i can live and build my own confident ; why couldnt i stand by myself ?

Yes i'm mad ! Why you do this to me ?! WHY ?! Let me live my life !!!!

One more step ~

I'm dying ~ You gave me fake hopes . You play at my back . You leave scars on my body ; i drop . I shouldnt believe to your saying . I'm down ; what if you continue ? Now ; im half alive . Im dead ; I smile ; but im hurt .

They kill me inside . I should be somebody better ; but you teach me different ways . You said im bad ; and may i ask something ? Who taught me that ? Who lied ; you said you love me . But you never show . How i wish ; you kiss me everyday . Celebrate my birthday with sweet memories . Without making me cry on my special day . How i wish ; you buy me a huge teddy bear ; and hug me with love . How can i approach you ; with a smile ?? I duunnoe why i always break down ; i became weak when i saw you ~ My soul became cold ; it became numb . I cant move ; as if i saw a ghost . Why i was to know all this ~ I slowlyy ............. dying ~